We had planned to have a nice, stress-free, organized move. However, that was not to be the case. I'm going to try not to turn this into a rant, but, we have just gone through a week of ...well, "hell" is the only word to describe it.
Without going into all the gory details, my niece and "gracious" SIL unleashed a tsunami of hateful words on us for not having the house in spotless condition two days before a supposed showing of the house, in the midst of moving. The showing did not happen until yesterday. So, we have spent the last week, getting everything out of her house, and piling it into ours. We are ever so slowly finding a place for everything, but most of our stuff is piled up on both sides of a pathway throughout the house. We do know where our underwear and toothbrushes are located, so it's not all bad!
But the thing that is so bothersome through all this is that now we know what my SIL (Hubby's Sis) really thinks of us. The things that spilled out of her mouth came so fast and furious that we know she had been keeping them bottled up. I know some of it had to do with the stress of getting her house sold. And, I can forgive her for that. But her low opinion of us, will take longer to forget. Hubby kept asking if the house was worth the cost of a friendship. Apparently it was, because she did not even stop to consider. I'm pretty sure she will eventually feel bad for the things she said, because I have never in all my life seen her act this way. But, the damage has been done, and I don't know how long it will take to repair.
I'm sorry that this is kind of a downer-blog, but I wanted to explain that it may be a little while longer until I get back to blogging. Thank you for all your lovely comments, most of which I haven't had time to respond to! I have signed up for the A-Z blogging in April, so I really hope that things will be back to normal (LOL!) by then.
The good news is that Papa Smurf has been found! Sweetie Pie stashed him away in Jennee's clost, and forgot about him. And, I did find my Project 52 list. Sadly, there weren't as many things on my list as I thought, so I still have to come up with more!
P.S. Don't be too hard on SIL in your comments. Oh, my gosh! You should see Hubby right now! He is sitting on top of the gazebo while it is being moved to its new location! I wish I had my camera to show you!!!
Life can be a chairful of bowlies!
Usually when someone acts out of character, it's like you said, they are under tremendous stress. One of the hardest things you'll have to do now is to pray for her. When you can truly pray for her with no hurt in your heart, when you truly wish the Lord to bless her in whatever way he feels would be best for her, Miracles happen. I have had it happen in my life and I encourage you to participate in your own miracle. The way will be found that you couldn't see. Pray.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with All8. Stress does nasty things to ones more sociable, polite self. It's lousy that you had to witness this outpouring, but you seem to have been the bigger person and have chosen to view it in a level-headed and admirably mature way. Maybe she HAS been harbouring unexpressed gripes over the years, but her perceptions might not necessarily be an accurate reflection of the true state of affairs. Often, our viewpoints are limited and clouded by our own incorrect assumptions and misunderstanding of things. I hope that she will realize the hurt she has caused you both and, in time, will find the courage to apologize, meaningfully. I can imagine how awkward you must feel, though. Thank goodness you have so much to take care of in establishing yourselves in your new home. Not much free time to dwell! Just focus on making your own dreams a reality :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking us into your confidence, Darlene. I hope you found it cathartic in the retelling. Your lovely sense of humour never fails you, so do give yourself a jolly good pat on the back, dust off your wounded pride and walk forward, tall and strong, just the way we know you to be. We all think you are GREAT!
Big hug
xoxo
Ditto to above comment. She is family and thus when you both forgive her than you set yourself free of the hurtful words that she said and you take away any power they have to continue to give you pain. And yes showing her so much love and forgiveness then you are so proving that she was wrong with what she said.
ReplyDeleteSomeday she will learn how blessed she was to have you in the family. I know I would be blessed to have you in my family and would love to have you in our lives.
So put what she said on a paper and burn the words to be forgotten and part of the past. The past we cannot change but this moment is what counts. Spend it full of love and blessings of your heart. Trust me I know.
Besides we love you just the way you are.
God bless.
I'm sorry the move hasn't been smooth sailing. Sometimes that kind of stress just brings out the worst in people.
ReplyDeleteh the joys of selling a house *insert sarcasm here*. Try to let go of the comments as you all have a lot riding on this.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with Des. I think she is right on here.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you are the bigger person because I'm just not that mature. When I feel cornered and am being tongue lashed I open my big mouth and out spews all my feelings. Not the right thing to do. Give her time to pull her panties out of her crack and she will feel horrible about what she said. That's usually the case anyway. Big hugs to you my friend. I know it will all work out for the best. You deserve it and God won't forget your "good" behavior. Now as for the picture of hubs..... I wish I could have seen that lol
We had the same thing happen with a very close female relative, we were shocked. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I am sure she was under a lot of stress and will be really sorry she spoke so impulsively. But the sad thing is now you know how she really feels, and that can't really be taken back. But we need to show grace and not lower ourselves to the level of others.
ReplyDeletesigh. life. what would we do without it?
ReplyDeleteDarlene, I am so sorry that your feeling were hurt. I know how painful that is. Any big event good or bad will bring out the worst or best in people. I hope you all can repair your friendship.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Joanne
Hi Darlene...I'm sorry there was such a fuss up, families can be that way and then we kiss and make up and are ready to catch one another if we are tripping or falling again. Might take some time, but I hope eventually the air gets cleared and y'all get back to being family. I think Sis was stressed and vented where she knew it was safe.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to some before and after pictures...hope the weather is cooperating!
Hugs~