I have struggled long and hard with this question, and have decided to share my vast wealth of knowledge on this subject. (Lucky you!)
When I was a mere "child" in my 30's, my dear MIL used to tell me that I had more gray hair than she did! Now, I'm not denying that I had gray hair, just not as much as she did. It became the family joke. Ha. Ha. The truth was, that I was graying showing my wisdom much more than Hubby was. (You can probably imagine how annoying that was!)
I finally decided that I did not want people to think I was his mother, and started having my hair colored. I didn't mind it at first, because I could go on the four month plan. And, I could justify the cost since it happened so "rarely". But, then I noticed that four months wasn't working, and moved it up to the "every other haircut" plan. But, even that went by the wayside, and I succumbed to every seven weeks "cut and color". Business was good, but even so, I hated plunking down way too much money to get my hair back to its natural color of dark brown. It was also irritating to see the wrong color showing itself only two weeks later. But, what irritated me the most, was that there was nary a gray hair on Hubby's head! Believe me, I checked on a regular basis. Still do.
Several years ago, I seriously considered just "going gray". I let it grow out a little, just to see how far gone I was, but my beautician talked me into coloring, saying I would look 60 if I didn't. Ouch. Since I was only 50, I wasn't ready to age myself 10 years. And, my vanity would get pumped up when people would shockingly say, "You're a grandmother?? No way!!" I tried to answer humbly, "Yes. Yes, I am." Thinking: I know I look much too young. Thank you for confirming my opinion.
But, then, we sold our business, the economy tanked, an suddenly we found ourselves saving every dime we could. Bye, bye professional hair coloring, hello home coloring.
I quickly discovered that I didn't like home coloring, and was back to the age old question--dye or not dye?
I finally decided to not dye. I'm halfway to 60, so big deal if I age myself five years.
Now the question was, how do I go from brown to gray silver white natural, gracefully? I could just see the top half of my head natural, and the bottom half, brown. Not a pretty sight. Luckily, for me, "hot flash city" kicked in. The only hair style that I could tolerate was a ponytail--even in sub-zero weather! (I'm totally loving the non-maintence of a pony tail!) So, it might have looked ridiculous, but I couldn't tell. I have been amazed at how long it is taking to totally grow out--over a year now.
But, even though I no longer receive shocked comments about being a grandmother, and even though Hubby still has a long way to go to catch up with me (grrrrr), and even though family members have asked if I'm OK with my decision (really!) and even though I may look 60, and even though I'm still kind of (ok, very) shocked when I see a photo--I am OK with my decision. I think gray silver white my natural color suits me.
"The glory of young men is their strength; gray hair is the splendor of the old."