Victoria is Not the Only One with a Secret!

I have a little secret. 


I also have issues. Or, maybe I just have a computer that hates me. I've been fighting with my computer since my last blog. Actually, it started with the blog you were not able to read, because I accidently deleted it! ARRRRGGGGGG. I was minutes away from finishing it. Just had to make one little adjustment. It was all because that dumb mouse was not cooperating. It didn't go where I wanted it to, it highlighted too much stuff. I suspected the little ball needed cleaning out, but I couldn't figure out how to get it out of the mouse. (I know I've just given you too much information about how my brain functions. Don't judge me too harshly!) Anyway, losing my blog made me lose my blogging mojo, and it has taken me all this time to get it back. At least, I hope it's back. Then, yesterday, as I sat down to check my email blog, the computer froze up. I pushed all the buttons I thought needing pushing. I pulled out wires I thought needed pulling, but to no avail. When Hubby called that night, I told him the problem. "Just unplug it. That should do the trick." Yep, that took care of the problem. Now why didn't I think of that?? 


Now, back to my secret. This past weekend, daughter Jennee, told me we would be going to a Victoria Secrets VIP after hours shopping trip. OK. That sounds like fun. I need a few things.


We walked in, showed them our invitations (that were printed off the computer), and our ID, so we could be entered into the raffle drawings.
My number was 40; Jennee's number was 41. 

We entered the store, and the sales girls were all decked out. (Hubby asked if they were modeling underwear. No. They were not.) The new color of lipstick must be fire engine/neon red, because they were all wearing the same color. Their lips came into the room five minutes before the rest of them. (I'm sorry to report that most of them looked ridiculous.) Some of the girls had a big trayful of cookies, which they begged us to eat. Others had trays of little water bottles, complete with a lovely photo of a model wearing a bra. The male MC was making announcements that free bra sizings were available (aren't they always free?), and reminding us that we should be measured every six months to be sure we are wearing the correct bra size. That was a little weird.


The drawings were to be every 15 minutes. The number for the first drawing was 42! Darn! So close! The number for the second drawing was 39! Darn, again! The numbers were dancing all around us.


We finished our shopping and decided to hang around for a few more drawings. As I was looking at the makeup, a lady came up to me and asked if I would be hanging around for a while. I answered, "Yes, probably."  "Well, then, here, you can have my ticket. I'm leaving."  (Yay! Thanks!)


I decided to put ticket #40 in my left pocket, and ticket #77 in my right pocket. I couldn't be seen fumbling around with two tickets in case I won. The trick was to remember which number was in which pocket. And, with my memory, that's asking a lot! 


Two more drawings came and went, with the numbers not being close at all to our numbers. Finally, we were getting bored. I mean, how long can you keep wandering around looking at the same underwear over and over? We decided to stay for one more drawing.

The time came. The number was called. "Seventy-seven". "Whoo hoo", I heard myself yell. Then immediately had to stop and think which pocket contained the correct ticket. Luckily, I guessed correctly and went over to claim my prize.


"You've won this lovely tote bag, which is a $50 value, and a makeup bag, a $10 value." 

"Great, thanks", I said as I started looking over the tote bag, and wondering where I would use it. The bag is nice, but it is covered with black and white photos of the models. Maybe it's just me, but the last thing I want to carry around is a bag covered with photos of scantily-clad perfect-bodied women. (I suspect my male readers may have a different perspective.)

But, a plan was forming in my mind.  Since the bag is black and white, I decided to dress the models myself, with my handy-dandy black marker. I felt like I was getting to know these girls pretty well. I finished with one photo, turned the bag around, and said, "Not you again!" , and colored some more. Luckily, I had a big supply of black markers. Jennee says I've ruined the bag. I don't think so, because now I can actually take it out in public.  

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Project 52 and the HGC diet

I have been slacking quite a bit with my Project 52 updates. August was crazy busy with canning and pickeling everything under the sun! September has been busy with traveling and cleaning up the outside to get ready for w-i-n-t-e-r!


I LOVE Fall, but I sure hate what follows it! Now, I must admit that the past two or three winters haven't been all that bad (for me), due to the constant stream of hot flashes that I had been having. Since I was always so hot, I thought Hubby would appreciate it if I did my part to save some of his hard-earned money by keeping the thermostat set at about 62 degrees. Unfortunately, while I was quite comfortable, everyone else in the house was freezing!  However, today, I'm sitting here with goose bumps all over me, and the temperature is 60 degrees, outside! I'm starting to get nervous that "hotflash season" may be over, and I'll be back to being the ice cube I used to be! 


That had nothing at all to do with Project 52, but, I was on a roll!

The Number 1 goal on my list was to lose 30 pounds. Ten (or twelve) years ago, my goal was to lose 10 pounds. Five years ago my goal was to lose 20 pounds. Do you see a pattern? I have been going the wrong way for quite some time. The "Face the Moment" came when my normally short and stubby fingers started looking more and more like sausages. I had to pull off my wedding rings before they started cutting off the circulation. Not good.


Although I had been able to lose weight before, since entering the "Big M" stage of life, it just was not happening. My size 12 jeans were getting tighter and tighter to where I could barely breathe. Hubby and Amazing Daughter have always fought the weight issue due to super slow metabolism. 


But, this summer, at a family reunion, we discovered a miracle! One of Hubby's seven brothers had recently lost 34 pounds in a ridiculously short time. Now, you may balk at some of the things I'm going to tell you, but you can check it out for yourself. They had read a book, "Fat2Fab" which is available only in Kindle form. We don't have a Kindle, so I just got my info online.


The secret is a hormone called: hCG. And, it is a miracle. It's inexpensive,it's safe, and it works. I repeat, it works! I just now came across this link, and it has excellent information if you want to check into this further. When Brother D said, "They don't recommend exercise while on this because of the low calorie intake." , I was sold. Ok, I just focused on the "don't exercise" part and not the "low calorie" part.


But, I'm getting ahead of myself. This diet was first discovered by Dr. A.T.W. Simeons back in the 1950's. (If you want to give it a try, do your own research. I checked it out, but when it comes to recording facts, I might possibly forget something...) If you want all the scientific reasoning, you might want to buy the book. Or, you can go right here to read quite a bit of info.


We bought our drops at the health food store for $19.95, much cheaper than anything you'll find online, and we got great results.

So, in a nutshell, this is the diet: Days 1 and 2, take 10 drops three times a day. Eat like crazy. Yes, you read that right. Glut yourself. It's called the "Loading Phase". We quite enjoyed those two days. Because on Day 3, you start the Very Low Calorie Diet of 500 calories a day. Yes, you read that right. But, before you start spazzing out, I will tell you that with the drops you don't get hungry. Well, you might get a little "hungry", but you won't be STARVING! The hCG also helps you lose fat from your fat storage areas and not lean muscle areas. There is a very strict list of foods you can eat, and you MUST NOT STRAY from this list. No cheating what-so-ever! With that being said, I must say that this has been the easiest diet I have ever been on!


This may sound a bit unbelievable coming from a sugar/chocolate addict, but the things I craved the most were more vegetables!


Breakfast consists of black coffee or tea. One tablespoon of milk is allowed, if you don't like your coffee black.


Lunch and supper: 3.5 ounces of protein (weight before cooking), 1 veggie, 1 fruit, 1 melba toast. Everything is to be cooked in water or grilled. Grilled burgers, grilled steak, grilled chicken! Who's complaining? One day each week, I measured/cut the meat to size, then grilled everything all at once. Makes fixing the meal a snap! There is no restriction on salt, pepper, or other spices, so we never ate bland food. 


All day: lots and lots of water, coffee, or tea.


That's it.


Here are some examples of what we ate:

Fresh Tomatoes with Basil, Grilled Chicken, Orange

Lettuce Steak and Orange Salad

Chicken, Green beans, and Apple

Fresh Tomato with Basil, Steak, Strawberries

Spinach Steak Strawberry Salad with
Balsamic Vinegar and Melba Toast

Asparagus, Chicken, and Apple

Asparagus, Grilled Burger and Apple

Drink lots and lots of water, tea, or coffee - a gallon!
My system for keeping track of liquids was to put a
button in the dish for every 16 oz. glass I drank

Something else that may surprise you is that there were many times when we were completely stuffed after eating. Ocassionally, we would have to save our fruit to eat later. We were just too full to eat it! I am not kidding!

 Stay on this regiment for six weeks or until you've lost 34 pounds, whichever comes first. Since the three of us are doing this together, we're following Hubby's lead. He lost his 34 pounds in five weeks. (Brother D did it in three weeks!!) Amazing Daughter and I are at 23 and 21. At that point, stay on 500 calories for two days, but discontinue the drops. I was a little worried that I would be starving, but, I (and Hubby and Daughter) have made it through without any problems. 

The next phase is two weeks at 1500 calories, which now sounds like a feast! I think you work up to 1500 calories, and it is recommended to stay away from sugar and carbs. Following that, go three weeks of just eating. This is to re-set your weight and metabolism. When we finish the program, we should be able to eat whatever we want and not gain any weight. If we do find ourselves gaining more than a pound or two, we're to eat a steak and tomatoes. I can handle that. Brother D stayed within a pound. When that phase is finished, and  if you're not at your goal weight, start all over again.

Do you want to know how good those drops work? Someone offered me these brownies. These were more than offered, they were left in my kitchen! I was not even tempted! I am a true chocoholic! I have stashes of chocolate everywhere! I even put my nose down close and inhaled deeply. Nope. Nothin'. I wrapped them in plastic wrap and put them in my freezer, where they are still sitting! Now, that is sayin' somethin'!

A temptation that I overcame with NO PROBLEM!
(Peanut butter and chocolate brownie)

I had to make a quick stop at the local Goodwill Store, and bought a couple pair of jeans in a size 10. They are loose on me. My wedding rings are back on and are not cutting off the circulation! Whoo hoo! One more phase should do it for me, and I plan to reach my goal. I have never, in my life, actually reached a goal! But this time, I know I will!

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After Thoughts Review and Give Away!

I have been given the opportunity to give a product review for some awesome products made by my Amazing Daughter. How convenient that this allows me to cross off goal #11 for Project 52!


Amazing Daughter aka Jennee makes some adorable aprons -- always sassy, still classy! I have been the recepient of a few of her aprons. They are so much fun to wear. Not only do they have the ability to give off a sassy, classy vibe, but, wearing these aprons actually makes cooking just a little more fun. Don't cook? Don't let that minor detail keep you from owning a sassy apron. It may be just the inspiration you need to find your inner chef!


That's just one way to pamper yourself. Here are a few more ways to give yourself some pampering.


Did you know that the best way to get a good night's sleep is to sleep in total darkness? In this technological age, there's a good chance your bedroom might have a bunch of little bright lights scattered about, from the alarm clock, to cell phones, to the TV. The best way to block out those annoying lights is with a sleep mask. Jennee has some very cute and comfortable sleep masks. She has designed her sleep masks with a wide satin ribbon, which is adjustable with velcro for a perfect fit. This band is much more comfortable than a thin, tight elastic band.


And, when you need a nice neck massage after one of those stress filled days, and there's no one around to pamper you, these neck massagers work great. They are filled with rice, so just pop it in the microwave for a few minutes to heat it up, then put it around your neck and shoulders and let the warmth work its magic on those tight muscles.  Add a matching eye mask, and who needs Calgon? 

I hope I've tempted you a little, because now I'm hosting my first give away. For your pampering and enjoyment, and future good nights sleep, you can win your very own face mask!


Jennee and I had a little disagreement on whether or not I should offer this particular pattern.

"Mom, remember, most of your followers are.....older."


"So. Why? What are you saying, Daughter?"


"Do you think they'll really go for the wild animal look?"


"Well, why wouldn't they?  It's the "IN" thing. We might have one foot in the grave, but we still want it to be stylish....And, isn't 50 the new 40?"


"Puh-leese, Muh-thur!"


We've also been having a disagreement on when to have the drawing. 


"I thought about celebrating 205 followers with a giveaway."  (Why 205? I just thought I'd be different.)


"Mom, you're only at 189."


"Yeah? It shouldn't take that long." 


"It could take a long time. We're not doing the A-Z Bloghop anymore, you know."


KIDS! They think they know it all!


So, I'll compromise. The drawing will be on June 15 or at 205 followers, whichever comes first.


If you are still with me, here are the rules:


1. Follow me. (Please. :)) 
2. Visit After Thoughts Etsy Shop and let me know which product is your favorite. Come back and leave a comment.


For bonus entries:
1. Follow Jennee at Cheap Therapy
2. Tweet about the giveaway
3. Blog about the giveaway.


You must leave a comment for each entry.
Also, for 5 bonus entries, purchase something from her etsy shop. 


Thank you. And, good luck!!

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Project 52 - Week 12

Another week has come and gone. I've had a few successes, but I've also been helping my Amazing Daughter aka Cheap Therapy "simplify" her room. We've been stripping off wallpaper and repainting. I won't steal away her thunder, but I will show one before picture. 

That wallpaper is history. I'll leave it up to her to show the "after" pictures. It looks really nice!


So, I have made some progress with working out three times a week. I've managed one or two P90X workouts.  Haven't made it through an entire workout yet, but I've got 40 more weeks! Jennee and I are switching off with a little yoga and a little zumba. We're working on a couple programs that promise that we will be bikini ready by summer. (They just don't say which summer.) Don't hyperventilate. I don't plan on donning a bikini any time soon.


Let's see. #42 gets crossed off. I cleaned out the closet in the office, which is where we put our "hanging up clothes". This closet wasn't in as bad of shape as I thought, but I did get rid of a few items that don't fit I don't wear anymore. And, guess what else I found hiding in the closet. More jeans! Good grief. I didn't know I had so many pairs lurking around. I guess I will be making another blanket! 


I also made an executive decision to nix #13 (save up for a laptop). I'm not babysitting anymore, so there's no extra moolah for that little extravagance. I am replacing it with "Painting the bathroom". Helping Jennee has put me in the mood to do a little more painting. I have an extra gallon of paint sitting around from another job, so this won't cost anything. I'm not a huge fan of the paint color, but it will be an improvement over what I have now.


I will now unveil my (still unfinished) jeans blanket.

The front

The  back

I debated  over whether I wanted to cover the back, but after using it only once, I realized that it is not warm and cozy. It feels very cold, and no matter how much you wrap up in it, you just don't get warm. So, I hope to get the fabric for that this week!


I had a couple shirts that were made out of denim, so I incorporated them into the blanket as well.

A little bit of whimsy

I wanted to have fringed blocks

My secret pocket

OH! I also got my hair cut this week. But, I'm saving that story for the April edition of "H", so stay tuned. 

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A New Look

I came home from babysitting today, and Jennee called out to me..."Mom! Come here and see what I've been doing all day...on my day off."


She's been working on sprucing up my blog page. I have a new, cute picture, and she made me a button. I think she did a great job. (Except for the fact that those people look a little old! But, I guess it's time to face facts. I just wish Hubby's hair would start to gray-up a little.) 


What do you think of my new look? I think she did a great job. So, feel free to grab my button! But, only if you want to! 

<a href="http://enelrad-darlene.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b178/cheezysmilegal/mom-1.png" /></a><br />

Have a great Friday!

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Has Spring Sprung??

I'm very excited to report that Spring is on its way! This winter has seemed to go on and on and on, and it is still JANUARY! 


The reason I am feeling slightly optimistic is because I happened to see three robins the other day!! Hubby and I always have a contest to see the first robin, and this year I am the without-a-doubt winner. If you want to read about last year's contest, click here. I have never, ever seen robins this early in the year, so I am hoping against hope that it means spring will be here sooner than later!

Not my photo. Found it from
blog.duncraft.com

This year, Amazing Daughter and I were in the car together. I looked in a tree and saw two orange bellies. I yelled, "I see robins! I see robins!"  She doubted me, claiming she saw nothing. A moment later, I saw another one. (We were on an empty snow-covered street, so I told her to back up so we could get a better look. I wanted to be very sure I had seen robins because I planned to do a lot of gloating to Hubby!) 


She backed up, but couldn't see anything. I kept pointing to the tree, with no leaves, thinking, 'how hard is it to see a robin?'. She couldn't see it!  I kept pointing. "There! In that tree!"  


"Which tree?"  


"The one with the robin in it!"  To be fair, there were two trees, side by side, but only one tree had a "blob" in that that looked like bird!  


Thankfully, the robin was in no hurry to leave. (The poor thing was probably frozen, and wondering who's bright idea it was to come back to Ohio in January!)  He stayed long enough for Jennee to finally see him, and provide confirmation that we had indeed seen robins!


So, here's to SPRING! May it get here SOOOOOON!


(And, now I have to tell you that I just learned that robins very rarely leave to go South for the winter! Most of them stay in their Northern homes all year long! We don't see them because they are busy hiding in brush and eating berries instead of hopping around on who knows how many inches of snow digging for worms! I'm not sure how I feel about this news. I think I'm kind of disappointed. All those visions of robins coming back for spring have just gone *poof*!)

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Happy Birthday, Daughter

The year was 1982. I was expecting my third bundle of joy. Bundle Number 1 and Number 2 were both boys, born in 1980 and 1981. (Yes, it is possible, and yes, they were all planned. Well, Number 1 came a little earlier than we had planned, but, he got the ball rolling.)


My plan was to have two boys, and a girl. So far, so good. All my pregnancies went quite well, and most days I felt so good that I would have to remind myself that I was expecting.


Back then, ultra sounds were not common practice. We had other scientific ways of determining the baby's sex. Like, the Drano test. Mix Drano and urine, and it would turn blue for a boy, but, maybe black, for a girl. (I can't quite remember the actual color, but, I don't think it was pink. That would be ridiculous.)


And, comparing the heartbeats. A slow heartbeat meant a boy, a fast heartbeat meant a girl. Also, the way they were carried, high for a boy, low for a girl. 

My due date was December 6. I was very happy with that date because it was also my sister's birthday, and my Grandma's birthday. How cool would it be to have three generations born on the same day?


If I remember correctly, we were having a relatively warm December. I don't think we had had any snow yet.


Everything was progressing quite well.  But, December 6 came and went, and no baby. I went to the doctor on December 7. He said, "When do you want to have this baby?" I truthfully said, "Yesterday." He said, "How about tomorrow?"
Yep, that was fine with me. Then he said, "When can you be here?" 


I told him that Hubby didn't get home from work until about noon. I think he may have asked how close we lived to the hospital. "Oh, we just live about 15 minutes outside of town", I told him non-chalantly.


I think he may have been a little nervous, because Bundles 1 and 2 came pretty quickly. My longest labor was 6 hours.


When I got home, I told Hubby that "Tomorrow is the day".  


We had finally decided that her name would be Jennifer Darlene. Hubby really liked Jolene, but I told him it would sound silly with Darlene. He would always go around singing Jo-lene, Jo-lene. I don't know who sings it, and that's the only part he knew. I also went through a phase when I thought I liked the names "Bobbie Jean" and "Laura Louise". I was influenced by General Hospital for those names. (Jennee has told me that she is soooooo glad we did not give her one of those names!)


So, on that December 8, 1982 (also a Wednesday), Hubby and I took Bundles 1 and 2 to Aunt Sue's house, then we were on our way to the hospital. The doctor met us there, we did all the prep stuff, then took me to my room. At 1:00, they broke my water. As the nurses came in to listen to the heartbeat, they would say, "It sounds like a boy to me." I told them, "No, it's a girl."  They didn't argue with me, but they doubted me.


Not much was happening, so at 2:00, they checked me again. It turns out, I had a double bag of water, so they broke the second one. After that, things started happening right quick!


At 3:05, our daughter entered the world. The doctor let Hubby cut the umbilical cord, which he thought was pretty neat. 


She has been a blessing in our lives. Our lives would be truly dull without her, and I can't imagine life without her! She is quite amazing, and if you hop over to her blog, she will tell you! (In a nice way, of course.) She has also informed me that she is glad she wasn't born on the 6th. She wanted her day all to herself. She is a little upset that she had to be born in December, but, maybe someday, she'll accept it!

Happy Birthday, Jennee! We love you! 

And, tomorrow, I can decorate for Christmas!!

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Christmas is coming, but the decorations are not going up yet!

December has finally arrived. We received our first snowfall of the season--and it is still too early for me! The skies are gray, and the wind is blowing the snow helter-skelter everywhere. I would much prefer blue skies, sunshine, and warm weather, but, that's not happening in northeastern Ohio at this time of year.


We have a very out-spoken rule at our house: No displays of Christmas, not even Christmas music, until after December 8.  The reason? Amazing Daughter's birthday is December 8, and she does not want to see anything Christmas-y, until after her birthday. She was quite young when she announced that this would be the new rule. Apparently, December babies feel like they've been gypped somehow, by being born in December. Sometimes, certain December babies can get quite cranky about it.


I mentioned something to her yesterday that I needed to locate all the Christmas stuff. She gave me the Evil Eye. (I was just messin' with her, and I wanted to see if the "rule" still applies.  It does!) So, we will be waiting until December 9 to put up our decorations.


However, one thing that she does not have control over, is my Christmas Cactus.  I'm very excited to see the buds forming, and I hope to have lots of blooms by Christmas.


My Christmas Cactus was given to me four years ago by a friend. She was moving to Florida, and did not want to take it with her. But, since I've had it, we have lived in five different places, from Ohio to North Carolina to Ohio. At one point, I wasn't sure if my Christmas Cactus would survive--it was touch and go for a while.


But, I've learned that it is a pretty hardy plant, and it seems to be thriving in its new spot.


I did a little checking to see what makes Christmas Cactus happy.
They don't like to be over-watered. When the soil feels dry, water throughly, but make sure there is good drainage. They also like to be hydrated. I have mine sitting in two pots, one that is shorter than the other. That way, the water drains out, but can evaporate back up into it. They also do not like direct sunlight. And, to get the most abundant blooms, they like to have total darkness for 12-14 hours everynight, starting in October. They also like cooler temperatures, around 50 degrees F. Mine seems to be doing OK at about 63 degrees.


I'm glad I discovered this information, because I was doing everything wrong!  Now, I hope to have lots of beautiful blooms at Christmas. 

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Stalker? Me?

I have had a few embarrassing moments in my life.  I've forgotten most of them. I only remember the really horrifying ones. If you want to read how I put my foot in my mouth, read here.  Or, you can check out here for another red-faced moment. But, this story may possibly be one of my most embarrassing moments. I can't believe I'm going to share this, but here goes...


This unfortunate event happend many years ago. It happened on the last day of VBS (Vacation Bible School), which was on a Thursday night. Hubby had stopped by the church building for some reason, which is now forgotten. As Jennee, my Amazing Daughter, and I were getting in the car to leave, the last words he said to me were, "I'll see you at home."


(Oh dear, I'm starting to sweat...but I think it could be a hot flash! One moment please while I fan myself.) OK. Now, where was I? Hubby was in his pick-up truck and pulled out of the parking lot, and we were right behind him. (Remember, I said it was dark out.) Surprisingly, Hubby turned off on a different road, which happens to lead to Bob Evans restaurant.


"Well, he never said anything about going there." Translation: If he's going for dessert, I'm going too! (But, why is he going for dessert?)


Jennee said, "Mom, are you sure that's Dad?"


"Of course, it is. He was right in front of us."


We came to Bob Evans--and drove right past it. "Well, that's weird. Where is he going?"


Jennee said, "Are you sure that's Dad?"


"Of course, it is. He was right in front of us. But, where is he going? Oh, I know. He must have to do an estimate for some gutters."


So, we continue following, this turn, then that turn. When he turns into the driveway, I sit at the end of the street. It would be silly and unprofessional for us to pull in behind him while he's giving an estimate.


For some reason, it didn't occur to me that it was too dark to give an estimate. But, as we were waiting, Jennee again said, "Mom, are you sure that's Dad?"


"Of course it is. He was right in front of us."


I watched as "Hubby" got out of the truck, then got back in and started backing out of the driveway. I was a bit confused. What's he doing?


Again, Jennee with her crazy question.


He pulled out, and I calmly started following. Then he pulled over to the side, and I fell in right behind him.


It was at that point that I noticed the logo on the back of this truck was different than the one I remembered seeing--and there seemed to be a woman sitting in the passenger side.


OHhhhhhhhhhh Crrrrrraaaaaaaaaap!!!! "Jennee, why didn't you say something???"  


So, at this point a couple of different scenerios were racing through my head.
1) Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were my husband, and I thought you/he was going out for dessert with out me.  
No, that didn't sound good.


2) I thought you were my husband and I wanted to see where he was going.
No, too stalkish.


In the end, I couldn't think of a logical explanation that didn't make me sound like a fruit cake, so before he got out of his truck, I quickly sped away.


I felt kind of bad, because they had no explanation on why some woman was stalking them. But, it was either put their fears at ease or save face. I chose to save face.


When we finally got home, Hubby said, "Where have you been?" 
"It's a long story, and I don't wanna talk about it."  Of course, Jennee was more than happy to provide every little detail.  


I still, to this day, don't know how that truck got between me and hubby.    I wonder how his story goes.

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No, I am not trying to steal this car!

Here's a short yet slightly humiliating story. I learned something very important.

Last night, Hubby and I stopped at a Sears store at the mall. They are having a big sale on drills, and he wanted to get one. Nothing is more boring to me than looking at power tools, so I had planned to stay in the car while he ran in to make his purchase.  My Amazing Daughter called on my cell phone just as we pulled into the parking lot.  As Hubby got out of the car, I subconsciously noticed that he grabbed the keys and locked the doors. I briefly thought, "I hope I don't need to roll down the window before he gets back", then continued on with my conversation.

The conversation ended, so I picked up my crossword puzzle book and started working on a puzzle.  I was on quite a roll, filling in almost every blank without having to look in the back for the correct answer.  (O.K. I admit, it was a book of easy crosswords, but it did sound impressive for a split second, didn't it?) I digress. The car started to feel a bit stuffy, and I knew I couldn't roll down the window, so I opened the door, which was locked.  BIG MISTAKE.

That dumb security horn started blaring.  HONK!            HONK!                 HONK!      HONK!
Oh snap! How do I turn that thing off?  I start looking around the dashboard, pushing every button I see, hoping it will stop the noise.  I decided to text Hubby, hoping he was close enough to hit the panic button to stop the racket.  Then the horn starts honking in different rhythms, rhythms I've never heard before and hope to never hear again!  HONKHONKHONKHONK     HONK      HONKHONKHONKHONK  HONK
It was horrible! It's hard to think with that much noise going on. Then I decided to pull out the car manual and look it up, but didn't know quite what to look under.  HONK    HONK    HONK  I'm still trying to find the "off" button on the dash. (Turns out there isn't one!)  I decided to call Hubby again. Just as I finish dialing, way in the distance, I see him coming.  (He said as soon as he heard the honking he knew it was me. What? Why?  Oh well, he was coming.)  Then I turned to my right, and saw a police car, and a police man (was his hand near the gun?? I can't be sure, but, maybe.) walking toward me.  I turned my head a little more to the right, and saw another police car! TWO police cars?  How embarrassing!

I looked up from the car manual on my lap, and said rather sheepishly, "I don't know how to turn it off!"  He said, "So, you're not trying to steal this car?"  Ummm, No, sir.  Thankfully, Hubby arrived about the same time as the police. Of course, it would have been much better if he had arrived first!  But, he vouched for me, and turned off that blaring honking!

So, a word of advice. If you ever find yourself sitting inside a locked car, make sure you unlock the door before opening it! Duh!

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